What a special privilege it is to have parents that love and care about you. I never really thought about this until I went to the depts of the internet on a site called reddit where strangers told me how much they missed their parents. Now, I don’t make it a point to actively think about when that horrible day will come where I can’t talk to my parents about things (I focus on the now) but it still made me think. I think that there is a moment in everyone’s life where they realize that they have grown up—they are on their own. Sure, your parents can still be around but they aren’t the ones supporting you at that time in your life.

 My sister and I

For me, that realization came to me when I was in college. I remember that night almost perfectly, it was about November of December of my freshman year and for some reason I had to go into town by myself. Whether that was to find a book, get something to eat I don’t remember but I do remember sitting down by myself at a bus stop, freezing and wondering where the bus was. I remember being pissed at the bus for being late, being pissed at myself for leaving at such a ridiculous hour, watching my breath come out in huffs as the cold wrapped around me, and feeling not that accomplished. There was snow on the ground and I vaguely remember thinking about Christmas and all of the joyous feelings that came with that holiday for me.

Just then, a family of a mother, father, and child walked by me laughing and talking about a movie that they just saw. At some point the child, a little girl, became scared of something (I think she thought she thought she saw something on the road) and her parents laughed and reassured her. Her father embraced her and picked her up and at that moment I realized that I was alone.

That second I realized that no one knew where I was—there wasn’t anyone to tell where I was. Sure I had friends, but do you update your friends on where you are going? Because if you do this someone please tell me because I haven’t been doing that all 23.5 years of my life. Anyway, no one knew where I was; my parents who cared about me didn’t know and couldn’t know because I was in college, one hour away from them. The struggling child in me thought it would be “uncool” of me to keep calling my parents—I am 18, damnit! I am an adult! (this is so laughable now)– It was in this point that I realized that I only had myself to relay on (and I don’t mean this in a mean or antisocial way, I think that this is something that everyone has to come to terms with at some point in their life). Yes—I did (do) have parents that love and care about me but there just comes a point in your life where you have to realize that you are responsible for you. There are no ifs ands or buts! And yes as an 18 year old girl out in the cold, sitting on a park bench in Amherst, MA on a Sunday night that thought was a little overwhelming.

And after working in the field of work that I do and seeing how some people are out in the world I realized that this little event is something that doesn’t happen to everyone unfortunately. This is a realization that you have maybe because you have people around you that care about you a lot, people who hold you through the good and the bad. Personas que ven todo que tu eres, y te querien igual, como se nada! And a lot of times, folks don’t have that privilege. Whether that happens because of chronic homeless-ness, lack of a role model/someone to teach wtf life is all about (and when I say life I mean like how to work a job, how to pay bills, how to get and maintain credit, fix your car, identify potential harmful people in your life, identify potential harmful people in your love life, etc, etc (double take—and yes, the people that teach you these things can’t foresee everything/anything that your life will hand to you but they are there to guide you and give advice—whether good or bad is for you to decide)). So I am grateful that I am able to have parents that love me and are there for me, friends who do the same, and people that I consider to be mentors. Because it took a while for me to piece this together—out sitting in 40 degree weather waiting for the bus.

But as I gazed into the night sky, I was just really thankful that I had the life that I had. And also to work to end this inequality because everyone should have access to someone who can guild you, be your friend and tell you when fucks ups are abound. Having this person(s) shouldn’t be a privilege (is this post still making sense????). But back onto it, growing up is some hard shit, you meet fucked up people, see fucked up things, but at the same time see beautiful and worthwhile things. Es vida.

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It has been a while! >_<! So here is a post about something that has been on my mind for the past two years. So, this past weekend I had the intense privilege of attending the CLPP (Civil Liberties and Public Policy)’s Conference on Reproductive Rights. The title may seem broad (and oh wow, is it ever) and they do their best to cover all the range of topics that fall into the category. A link here can be viewed so you can read all the different workshop titles. Anyway, so far I have been to the past 4 conferences (now 5! :D) during my time at Hampshire College and then returning to the conference as an alum.  I also went to the Sister Song Conference last summer and this topic always comes to mind.

So, I am obviously Peruvian (it says so in my blog title) and was born and raised in the United States. Something that has been bothering me for a while is the trend that I see when I go to Peru (and even see in the States in other Peruvians, both from Peru who immigrated here to Peruvian-Americans) is that we knock on “cholos” or “people from the mountains” and these folks are most often poor, and more often than not, from deep indigenous roots. They can (sometimes again, not everyone) speak Qechua or Aymara which are languages from the Incans who are the ancestors to most Peruvians. What I feel and have been thinking about for a long time is the silence of this heritage. Sometimes I run into people who are proud to be decedents from the Inca. After all the Inca caused some of the most deep scientific wonders of the world such as Machu Piccu or even rock cutting techniques. They has a sewer system and were into bathing way before the Europeans were. The Incas invented many wonderful things and were considered to be some of the first people to grow and consume potatoes.

But there is such a strong stigma associated with being of Incan decent which always makes me wonder: Is this silence the success of colonization? To my knowledge, the Spaniards who burned and colonized our country didn’t single themselves out from the Incas. Sure, they made them into slaves and had children together with them but damn, was colonization that deep? I think about all the catholic schools that there are in Peru and can only say that Yes, colonization was that successful. In Peru, they don’t recognize how much Incan blood runs through you, it’s assumed that everyone is just Mestizo. Y PONTO. There are no reservations, there are no remaining (again, to my knowledge) of people who lived like the Inca (the people who live in the jungle could be different, but they are most likely a tribe on their own). But my point is that the majority of the people in Peru are very native, have native blood in them, and no one talks about it.

Instead, people are made fun of for talking a certain way. Qechua and the people who speak it each year gets smaller. This is in part due to the rejection of the mainstream Peruvian to the language that their ancestors speak which brings me to say…

What the FUCK!??!?!

No. Seriously. This self hate that so many Peruvians have, this notion to separate themselves from their glorious past is astounding to me. We Peruvians actively oppress ourselves and that is fucked up. Those of our strong brothers and Sisters who fled to the Andes, where the espanols would not find them are poor, live a life of poverty and then go to the Capital, Lima, where they are at the mercy of those who give into the oppressor. They give into these notions that we are nothing and further exploit what little we know of our past by abusing our brothers and sisters from the Andes.

I don’t know for how many generations that this has been going on for but I know that I can’t be alone in this.

Going to start writing topics out before hand and writing them by hand and then typing them here.

Currently Reading “Whipping Girl” http://www.amazon.com/Whipping-Girl-Transsexual-Scapegoating-Femininity/dp/1580051545/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1317255185&sr=8-1

So I will be talking about femininity and the fire that it is always under. Its a great read and a must read for everyone, I think.

Anyway, a poem I wrote:

Lets Pretend
That we are on a string,
As rain pours over again again
Again
As we make the mad dash towards
What we thought was a freedom that we so desperately
Wanted and needed.
Let’s pretend that we aren’t sleeping in a state of
What?
Huh?
I need this.
I need you.
You need me.
Let’s pretend.

So, I have graduated from Hampshire College and alas, found that I have badly neglected this blog. From now on, I will try my hardest to make this something worth while.

So, in honor of said activity that prevented me from posting on this blog, here is some of my Division III otherwise known as a senior thesis.

It’s a total of 114 pages and some sweat, blood and tears.

Excerpt:

The women‘s health movement was something that arose with the women‘s liberation movement during the 1960s and 1970s, with organizations such as the Boston Women‘s Health Book Collective, the National Women‘s Health Network, and later the National Black Women‘s Health project (Schiebinger 1999). These and other organizations began drawing attention to how the U.S health care system had failed women (Schiebinger 1999). Although some of these organizations initially wanted breast cancer to be at the forefront, this movement really brought out into the public the issue of women‘s health. This movement at first was only targeted towards women‘s reproductive health, but again, what this really did was, by the mid-1970s, open up a number of women‘s health centers and workshops, health advocacy organizations and healthcare that was targeted towards women and added new critical and political questions about women‘s health and male-centered anatomy (Alexander et al. 2000).
This Women‘s Health Care movement led to the 1980s changes in public policy, which resulted in the inclusion of women in clinical trials (Schiebinger 1999). This task was given to the U.S Public Health Service‘s Task Force on Women‘s Health Issues, which was formed to assess the status of women‘s health and recommend a course of action. This task force recommended increasing gender equity in biomedical research and establishing guidelines for the inclusion of women in federally sponsored studies (Alexander et al. 2000). What also happened was ―…in 1989 the Women‘s Health Caucus introduced the Women‘s Health Equity Act (WHEA) bill, modeled on the Economic Equity Act. The WHEA called for establishing a permanent office of women and health under the assistant secretary of health‖ (Schiebinger 1999: 123). This transformed different interpretations of women and health and what seemed like indifference. Not so surprising, the National Institute of Health did form guidelines for the inclusion of women in studies. A 1990s inquiry by the General Accounting Office that was requested by the Congressional Caucus for Women‘s Issues led by Henry Waxman (Schiebinger 1999), had found that the NIH had failed to implement their own policies (Alexander et al. 2000). As a result the NIH strengthened their guidelines and established the Office of Research on Women‘s Health (ORWH). The whole purpose of the ORWH is to mandate focus on ensuring women‘s participation in clinical trials, strengthening research on diseases that affect only women, promoting the advancement of women in science, and recruiting more women in these fields (Alexander et al. 2000).
By the 1990s the movement had successfully elevated women‘s health and well-being to the forefront of public consciousness (Alexander et al. 2000). There was still some fear, though, which led to the ―1993 NIH Revitalization Act, Congress required that women and minorities be included as subjects in all human subject research funded by the NIH…Women and minorities could not be excluded from studies based on characteristics of race and sex‖ (Alexander et al. 2000: 130). This resulted in the scientific community attempting to use the old claim that including women would make research more expensive and thus require more funding. But, what happened instead was that women‘s health reached new heights with the expansion of scientific knowledge that was necessary to see major differences between men and women in a medical sense (Alexander et al. 2000). However, what some women feared (and rightly so) was that again, women‘s health would only be focused on the parts of a women‘s body: her reproductive system.

-end except-

And for the record I still strongly believe that this is the case, women are still only viewed in a medical sense for reproductive proposes. Going into abortion, we can see this even more with the idea that a women’s body, when she is pregnant, is merely a vessel for the “unborn” inside of her. Disgusting.

Panic Swtich by Silversun Pickups, the current song that won’t get out of mind head. I swear that I am not a hipster.

Panic Switch
http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=100351677,t=1,mt=video
Silversun Pickups | Myspace Music Videos

I can’t really say why I like this song so much, well, it’s fast and most of the music that I love is fast-paced and somehow, the lyrics just fall together (I’m not going to comment on my long absence from this blog, it was summer, now I’m a senior at College, put two and two together). But anyway, I’m feeling inspired and somewhat hopeful with this song and am currently writing out my application to the Wellstone Fellowship.

This is going to be a short update (and more for myself) but I need to apply to three things, and one is writing an essay for the Ayn Rand contest (yes, I read her book, I actually liked it).

Also, a little humor (grossly placed) from BP:

Putting that aside, I am sad of this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/14/eric-fuller-tucson-palin-beck-angle_n_809309.html

I really wanted a chance to meet my senators of future-senators face to face and talk to them. To great a chance to see how they really were and if they could represent me in congress, but well, looks like thats all been shot to hell. The angry republicans recently got what they wanted, crazy people out to shoot anyone who doesn’t agree with them.

Le sigh.

I have to say, that with the New Health Care law (Patient Protection Plan and Affordable Insurance Act) has been receiving a lot of heat-hate lately, mainly because most people haven’t read the law and listen to the news reports and Republicans. So now whenever they even hear “Health Care Reform” they see/hear this:

MORE TAXES! WE WILL EAT YOUR MONEY FOR THE UNFIT AND LAZY. WE ARE THE GOVERNMENT… AND WE WANT YOUR SOUL.

rawr

Pictured: The Government.

Oh lawl. I admit, I was one of those people who was like “health care reform, wtf? What does that mean?” and then watched the news and saw that all sides were freaking out over money and national debit, and the dollar going down, and blah blah blah. As you can tell, I had change the channel at that point.

But.

One thing stuck with me, and it was the figures of people freaking the fuck out because this health care law meant one thing: Raising taxes so that people who are on welfare, Medicare, Medicaid, Meda-taxes-pay-for-my-health-insurance, were going to get more health insurance and we weren’t (dun dun DUN!).

For about (almost) a month I was a bit angry, but above all, I didn’t care. Whatever, the emmys are going on in a week, Twilight better not win anything or I’ll pop my eye open, school is out in a month, and my room smells.

Those were most likely my thoughts when health care reform passed and I saw President Obama sparkling on television (vampire?) telling Americans that we now can say that we have moved forward into the ranks of other industrialized nations who have universal health care for everyone. Then the president of France said that douche-remark, which made me roll my eyes, and again, walk away into the midst’s of whatever else was going on in my life.

But, since working on the health care reform I have learned a-many things, and so I bring to you, in the incredibly easy to access language…

Stuff in the Health Care Reform that is amazing and doesn’t require money:

I would make the above text glitter, but I am afraid. ANYWAY:

–         Insurance companies can’t be as big of assholes as they were before.

  • If you get cancer, get really ill and suddenly become expensive to them because of all the care that you need, they can’t cut you off or say some bullshit about “pre-existing conditions” aka “You were lying to us when we took you in!” Or look for an error in your application to say not to you. “You aren’t a terminator and thus can get shot and be a-ok!”. The only way that they can cut you off and not pay your health care bills is if you commit insurance fraud. In fact, the new law makes being such an asshole to us, illegal. That’s right gals and guys, law-suits here we come.

–         Insurance companies can’t tell you that you are only worth half-a-million, less or more, or other shit like that

  • Okay, so that didn’t much sense, but what I am trying to say without sounding like a wonk, is that there can’t be set lifetime limits on how much they are willing to spend on you. Say you get cancer, they can’t stop giving you treatment because “oh snap! All your benefits are up, you used them all!” they have to pay. For everything.

–         If you have some sort of deadly illness or disease, insurance companies can’t deny you coverage based on that.

  • Sucky about that one though is that it doesn’t go into effect until 2014, but, you may be eligible for government help!

–         Makes it so that your doctor doesn’t have to call your insurance company to see if they can cover that treatment that you need.

  • That’s right, no matter what, the doctor can give you whatever best treatment is out there for you. However, if you want Viagra, things are looking sorta bad

–         Kick-ass website that tells you want insurance plan you can get for the best shit, and for the best price, no “progressive advertisement” bullshit to be found here.

–         Free preventative care!

  • Free pap-smears, mammograms, vaccinations and other stuff
    • HOWEVER! No free birth control for at least another year *SAD FACE!* really, that makes me pissed and sad. Free birth control as part of preventative care would be kick-ass, but the political climate right now, it’s kinda unbearable.

….there is more out there but I’m feeling lazy ~.~ so sleepy

On a side note, It’s kinda funny when you go on youtube and try to talk about healthcare reform, or any politically motivated website for that much. Everyone just assumes that if you are pro-health care than means you are on medicare or some sort of tax-assisted health care. I simply said (via youtube) that I loved the new health care reform and that more people should take the time to see what’s really in it, and the first response was “oh, you must be on Medicare, that’s why you love it. Well, my taxes won’t pay for that for much longer”. Huh. Let me tell you, I almost replied with as much anger as I could must and internet-scream (aka, all caps) I HAVE UNION-INSURANCE YOU FUCK-BAG!!! But then, I realized that it was youtube comments, and thus, the land of the insecure and retarded (well, not everyone, but most people who spul nonsense are). People just aren’t willing to listen to any other side. Nor are they willing to listen to the theories/stuff people are uncovering about the people who are against the healthcare reform that they are:

v     If tea-baggers, turning out to be racists

v     Are actually backing insurance companies profits’ interest, not our own, which is what many are claiming

v     Backing bunnies

v     Other shit

Anyway, on a happy note I saw Enrique Iglesias, he stood like 10 feet away from me, I WAS IN HEAVEN!!!

...

Look at this man. Just look.

Siiiigghhh.

I had to title my first post as such, the annoying internet meme seen on the likes such as cracked.com and 4chan (I think?). This is a post that probably won’t been seen by much of (anyone?) but whatever. During my time in New York City I have found that I need to write, and writing in my cloth-covered blue, flower printed notebook that contains directions to my destinations in New York, just isn’t going to cut it. During my time in New York (oh! I forgot to mention, I’m from Connecticut and like some people in Connecticut, I hate it there. I have hated it there since I was about 14 years old and possibly 7 years old). I have an internship in upper-side Manhattan and due to my own paranoid mentality, I won’t disclose where, just that I am doing a women’s health related internship! And, back to the story, I have stumbled upon a-many articles, blog posts and the likes regarding abortion, medicine, women, women’s health, and the like that I have been commenting to and expressing my rage of their viewpoint and attempting to show mine. Like, I am a feminist but I was raised Seven-Day Adventist: Reform Movement so I still have some pretty conservative views, but even the semi-conservative party would label me a raging liberal. I dunno. I guess I will also talk about my own views of the world, people, the fact that my hands are freezing and despite it being 100+ Fahrenheit outside, I’m freezing my ass off in the office and regretting not bringing a cover up from home. But, as I said, I have found that unfulfilling. I intend to express my views here if only for myself, with such views/obsessions/semi-hates as:

–         Abortion

–         Feminism

–         Anime

–         Chris Corner

–         Fashion that isn’t Louis Vuitton or Chanel (Am I the only one who thinks their style is bordering on…dare I say, tacky? But, that’s just me and what do I know right?)

–         Consumerism

–         Other isms

–         My time at Hampshire College (oh what fun that will be)

–         Sarah Palin

–         So-called “Pro-Life” feminism

–         Sugary-Foods

–         Fatty-Foods

–         Children

–         Babies

–         My own hopes and dreams

–         My newfound optimism (and my hopes that I will stay optimistic, although in these days, it is starting to be hard)

–         BP spill

–         President Obama

–         Health Care

–         Universal Health Care

–         Sushi

–         Salmon

–         Too-much Testosterone?!

–         Hearts

–         Hearts and Women

–         Science and why it’s awesome

–         Working in front of a computer

–         My new-found desire to start running

–         Bioshock

–         X-Box 360

–         Video Games

–         My own contradictions

–         Minimism

–         Art

–         Many, many other things

So, this being my first post I suppose I can talk a bit about myself and what else can be expected. Like all humans I will have outbursts of something that I find emotionally compelling and I’ll post it/talk about it here. For now, I welcome all comments. And uh, before I start talking about my own hopes for this blog, this is foremost, a blog for me, for me to reflect on and ponder and see what my own life was like. Also, I am turning 21 in about 5 weeks (OMG!) and I am female. But please note that you don’t have to be a female to be a feminist (and don’t say male feminist because then you are missing the point, I can’t tell you how many times I heard that and face-palmed).

I am also sort-of coming to terms with my won (surprise) loyalty with the United States, and might just talk about that sometimes because damnit, so many people around me, and I’ll talk about this when I talk about Hampshire College, talk shit about the United States and then talk about our global responsibility and I just want to scream. ANYWAY! I have to get to work, so, some articles for everyone’s enjoyment:

http://www.cracked.com/funny-1069-united-states-america/ – God save America! lol

http://www.cracked.com/article_18406_a-day-in-america-according-to-baffled-foreigner.html – Hmmmm

http://www.cracked.com/article_18555_5-blatantly-corrupt-politicians-america-reelected-anyways.html – this makes me question what we are thinking here

http://www.cracked.com/article_18614_6-reasons-america-should-invade-bp.html – Very yes

http://www.cracked.com/article_16935_why-america-still-awesome.html – Still reading this but I think that I just may fit the description….whoa